Ready and Rumbled

The moment I received the phone call that I would be an entrant in the 2022 Royal Rumble my whole body became warm. It had been so long since I wrestled that a sliver of doubt came creeping in, accompanied with excitement, and relief. I was doubtful that my body was the same and would preform like I needed it to. I was excited that I was going to be in front of the crowd again. And I was relieved that I seemed to still be relevant in the world of wrestling. So many emotions to be feeling in the aisle of your local butcher shop, while your husband is looking at you with a confused smile on his face and a baby trying to physically fight him in his arms. I was wanted and I was needed. And that felt good.

I won’t bore you with all the travel talk because traveling with a toddler is an article all on its own. Instead I’ll jump ahead to when I got to the building. I walked in like I owned the joint and started talking trash to everyone one I met. Typical Sarah Rowe stuff. Call it a coping mechanism or affection though aggression but I am, or was, the bully of the WWE. But I must stress that I’m a bully in a fun and loving way. I’m mean, but I mean well if that makes sense. This personality trait of mine isn’t quite fulfilled when I’m just bullying around cows and chickens. They are kinda the worst. They never get my jokes and they poop on everything. But I digress. Saying hello to everyone was an absolute pleasure. They were so happy to see me and even happier to see the star of the show, Cash Boy!!

This was the first time that I was doing something that couldn’t be interrupted by Cash’s needs. To say it required an adjustment of my mindset would be a major understatement. And I can’t even say it was much needed because I like being there for his every need. Cash turned a year old this week and I’ve never been too busy to take care of him. Honestly, it wasn’t a feeling I’m eager to feel again. After all this kid is still exclusively breastfed, I am his whole entire world. I mean I am literally the thing that means life for him and I don’t take that responsibility lightly. It was very strange to have him with Ray and a nanny for most of the day and only really coming to me to eat and get a little Mama time. I knew logically it was what needed to be done but the mom guilt still crept in. But at the end of the day this is the example I want to set for my son, for him to see his strong and capable Mama kicking ass and taking names in front of tens of thousands of people. That’s what every mom wants right?

And then my moment had come, I stood in gorilla with my music about to hit and the hairs on my neck stood up. Something primal gets awakened in me when I’m about to go out, my animal brain awakens. I call it going into the fire, its either going to swallow you up whole or you’re going to emerge like a phoenix. My music hit and I heard the crowd roar, which was a very welcome noise seeing that I was a surprise entrant and no one knew I was coming, my animal brain lets go a sigh of relief. I walk out into the lights and I swear the ground cracks as I walk and I enter my flow state, a state where I couldn’t disappoint the crowd even if I tried. I am theirs and they are mine. I take it all in and breath in the energy of the crowd until my eyes meet the ring and the deafening noise goes silent… I see my old tag team partner is in trouble. I run in to meet that trouble head on and I hit Brie Bella right in the face and hoist her sister Nikki up on my shoulder and attempt to chuck her out of the ring. But her damn sister pulls me off. I untangle Brie’s hands out of my hair and push her away with all I could muster and take a step back in preparation and knee her in the face as hard as I can. I swiftly get up because out of the corner of my eye I see Nikki Bella gathering herself, and good thing I did because her next move was to come straight for me. But I was ready. I was born for this. I quickly ducked her strike, pivoted on my foot to face her and hoisted her up in the air only to greet her with a head butt when she came crashing back to earth. I have been blessed by mother war.

Looking down at the damage I had happily done the red left my eyes and it dawned on me the reason I came in swinging in the first place, Liv Morgan. I turn around and we made eye contact and it was like seeing her for the very first time. She was beaten down and bruised but she still smiled when she saw me. She was weak and tired but she slowly stood to meet me. I could feel tears welling up in my eyes as I made my first step towards her. I hadn’t seen her in so long, but a friendship like ours doesn’t need reunions.

Before I could even touch her everything went white. And before I could gather myself I was getting picked up off the floor and raced to the ropes of the ring. I tried everything I could do to stop my momentum but I failed. Over the top rope I went, and the ground was as unforgiving as I was. How could I let this happen? How could I have been so overcome with happiness that I had let my guard down? Nothing had shown how long I had been gone more than the moment, I let an old friendship tunnel my vision. My Royal Rumble had ended just about as quick as it had begun.